In this three-part series, I want to talk about weak individuals, how to identify them, and how to overcome them. This post will cover the three weak individuals and how to spot them.
How Are We Defining Weak?
Many individuals are weak in personality, willpower, emotional control, and virtue. People who are weak in character need constant validation. People who are weak in willpower are unable to control their impulses or accomplish their goals. People who are weak in emotional control struggle to rein in their mood swings. Lastly, people weak in virtue will backstab, lie, and manipulate as a means of gaining an “advantage.”
Three types of weak individuals broadly represent these personality faults. The insecure are aware of their shortcomings and seek to force others into ignoring these faults. The dominant possess competence in one area of life and aggressively believes this competence translates elsewhere. Lastly, the deceptive pretends to be weak and incapable to secure power and influence over others through manipulations and self-pity.
Weak individuals are draining and continuously seek to dominate others through manipulation, anger, and passive-aggressive attacks. Because of their sneaky and abusive ways, weak individuals are rightfully disliked. Today, I want to help you understand the insecure, the dominant, and the deceptive. By understanding the pathology behind these character types, you can better identify and avoid weak individuals.
The insecure are individuals who are in constant need of validation. They cannot exist on their own terms or be happy with themselves – they always need the applause of others. Because you’re always responsible for applauding them and giving them attention, the insecure will feed off your energy and approval like a small child throwing a tantrum.
The insecure are weak in character, and they suffer from greed and envy. Therefore they covet what others possess and seek to have it for themselves. This is why insecure people typically need to be at the center of attention. External attention allows them to feel legitimized and secure.
For example, an insecure manager does not like it when an employee outshines him. If the employee works harder, is more competent, and more capable than the manager, then this “leader” will take offense. From here, the manager will seek to undermine his employee’s career even if this leads to negative outcomes for everyone including the business itself.
Another example is the bride that becomes angry with a flower girl that may briefly steal the attention. The bride wants the wedding to be her day. Even for a few minutes she can’t allow for someone else to be the focus. The bride needs to know she’s pretty and she can’t cultivate these feelings in herself. She requires the constant attention of others to feel beautiful.
The Insecure Lack Competence – And They Know It
At the root of this insecurity is knowing power is not based on competence, virtue, or ability. Individuals who work hard and act honestly do not need constant validation. We work hard not for applause but for the sake of the work itself. I write because I love to write. I act virtuously because I love virtue. I give to others because I love to give.
My love of my own virtue and accomplishments are all the validation that I need. Thus, I lack the desperate need for external applause. The insecure doesn’t possess much competence or virtue and aren’t willing to work for it. Without this internal validation, created by their own hard work, the insecure need external validation to justify their presence.
Insecure people need to build a reality where they are a top dog even if this isn’t the case. Because of this desire, they will passionately attack those that challenge them, especially anyone they have power over. The insecure do not care about what’s right; they only care about what makes them feel comfortable and validated.
The Insecure Will Make You Unstable
Lastly, the insecure lack emotional control and will always place their insecurities onto you as a means of manipulation. A manager who knows he lacks emotional maturity may poke and prod a favored employee in order to evoke a response. Once the employee responds negatively to the constant abuse, the manager will then accuse the employee of immaturity instead of acknowledging the role he played in the outburst.
As stated before, the manager, being insecure and envious of the success of others, will only target a respected and hard-working employee. A weak manager will never target a deadbeat employee – he will only target those who are competent and industrious. Such a tactic is counter-productive because successful, skilled employees with a high sense of value will take their productivity to another company. However, the manager is not interested in long-term benefits for everyone. He is only interested in calming his ego and seeking validation.
The insecure always utilizes manipulation and bullying as a means of controlling others. They are nasty and deceptive but never outright aggressive. Ultimately, they will be passive and seek to undermine other people through petty actions and empty words.
The dominant is a weak personality that is more direct and aggressive than the insecure. The insecure hides and plots while the dominant attacks and yells. The dominant is defined by their desire to push everyone through any means necessary. Additionally, the dominant has a massive ego and intense need to see others validate that ego. Without this validation, the dominating personality attacks others and seeks to beat people until they offer no push back.
Whereas the insecure is aware of their lack of answers and abilities, the dominant truly believe that they know everything which leads to their aggression. An . aggressive response is fairly understanding. If you are correct and others constantly contradict you, then it’s challenging to not be annoyed. Therefore, if you lack emotional control and the freedom to leave the situation, you may quickly respond with anger.
Examples Of The Dominant
A good example of the dominant personality at work is the individual who believes there is only one course to success. Let’s say the dominant is the CEO of a successful company. The dominant may be annoyed that their daughter is pursuing an artistic path and that their son is studying to be a cook and owner of a restaurant. The dominant may chastise his children for not getting a business degree, finding a job at a local corporation, then working their way up until they are CEO like him. It doesn’t matter if his children are experiencing financial, social, and spiritual fulfillment – he truly believes they can never be happy until they chose the correct way to live, i.e., the path he pursued in life.
Another example: a football coach may win a series of Superbowls and celebrate his victory. He has done well, and he should be proud. However, he believes his success on the field translate to other endeavors such as owning a restaurant or commenting intelligently and productively on modern politics. While his knowledge of how to lead a team can help others do the same, he doesn’t know how to cook a steak or describe the complexities of the American legal system. However, he is dominant, believes he is right, and declares that his knowledge and success on the field will be useful everywhere.
The Dominant Believe They Are Always Right No Matter What
Lastly, the dominant is the most respectable of all the weak individuals because they do possess competence. The insecure fails in personality, willpower, emotional control, and virtue. However, the dominant only fail at character and emotional control. The successful CEO and football coach mentioned above are hard-working, successful individuals who possess virtues and strong willpower. However, they lack humility which sets them up for failure. The CEO’s kids aren’t going to want to be around him, and the coach will continue to fail in other pursuits because he won’t listen to criticism or feedback. Because the dominant believe they know everything, others will avoid them.
Dominant personalities lack self-reflection and refuse to step back and think critically about themselves and their actions. When we believe we are always correct and lack the humility to admit that we may not be, we cannot go beyond our current state of “rightness.” Because of their competence and ego, the dominant will push down all detractors no matter what.
The deceptive are notorious. They fear self-improvement over everything. Their egos may be small, and they rarely have power, but they hate to put in the sweat and tears necessary to grow into better, more significant people. Thus, they hide behind false humility to garner sympathy and expand their area of influence.
Additionally, the deceptive use sympathy to validate themselves and build their egos. They want others to step in, for example, and say “it’s alright, you did your best.” These sorts of pats on the back enable the deceptive to gain support, friends, and a sense of accomplishment. Insecure people attack through passive-aggression. Dominating, abrasive individuals lash out in aggression. Dishonest, deceptive people present themselves as weak in order to gain support and influence.
The Deceptive Humble Will Manipulate Your Emotions
The deceptive are lazy. They are focused on slouching in the background and hanging on the coattails on others. The deceptive are masters at receiving pity and admiration which can elevate their status without making them a threat to other people.
The deceptive are greedy and selfish by nature. They will constantly feed on the resources of friends and family but will be too weak or unlucky to return the favor. Most of the time, they turn on the charm and lament their state in life as to why they can’t help others. This works well, and people will continue to support such manipulative individuals.
The deceptive are not always aware of their machinations, but they never pursue anything that would force them to change. Individuals, when honestly engaging with themselves and others, will hit points when they realize they need to change. This change can be rocky and rough but necessary. The deceptive will actively avoid these moments of awareness to keep the status quo.
The Deceptive Will Never Advance Or Improve
The last category of weak individuals is weak in personality, willpower, and virtue. However, they are strong in emotional control and use their emotional power to manipulate others. For example, a family member may lack a car or the ability to drive. Instead of asking family members to help her, she may continue to mooch off everyone else for car rides. When you bring up how inconveniencing it is to drive her around, this family member may cite excuse after excuse. Her goal is to prevent you from demanding better behavior from her, so she can continue to use you and others for car rides instead of taking more responsibility for her life.
The deceptive will always seek to take from you and never give back. Such weak individuals are a plague on your happiness and potential success.
Weakness and Individualism
All weak individuals have two things in common: 1) a detachment from reality and 2) a desperate need for validation. Weak individuals need validation from others because they cannot cultivate it in themselves. For example, if you are a generous, hard-working, decent individual, then you don’t need to manipulate your employees to validate your right to be their manager. Your character speaks for itself.
If you’re confident in your chosen path, then you don’t need to force your children to follow your career goals. As long as they are happy, stable, and virtuous, you can confidently support them. Your career path doesn’t need their compliance to have validation in your eyes.
Lastly, if you are always seeking to improve yourself and live the best possible life you are capable of living, then you don’t need handouts from other people. Sure, your car may break down and you may need a ride every so often, but you have a plan to buy a new car and pay back those who helped you in your time of need.
Weak Individuals Are Draining and Manipulative
All weak individuals refuse to care about the plights, feelings, and needs of others. This is what makes them so dangerous to be around. The insecure will drain you of your time. The dominant will drain you of your energy. The deceptive will drain you of your resources. They all want the same thing – to use you to build themselves up.
Lastly, all weak individuals hate questions, and they hate listening to others. They don’t know how to approach others as humans – they can only seek to dominate or manipulate through aggressive or underhanded tactics. Ultimately, this means weak individuals are never invested in the happiness, success, and greatness of others.
This week, I wanted to go over who weak individuals are and how they can be classified. Next week, we will discuss how to counter weak individuals and successfully undermine their influence over you.
- Can you think of anyone in your circle of friends or family who is a weak individual? Note: we all have our moments of weakness. A person who tends to be a little aggressive isn’t necessarily a dominant, especially if they are aware of it.
- Of the weak individuals in your life: why do you associate with them? Why are they counted in your circle?
- How would your life improve if you didn’t have weak individuals in your life?
Please remember that it’s important to do the actionables. You’re not on this earth to simply read but to do. To become an individual, you must act more than you consume.
*Image credit to Unsplash