This week, I discuss the five actions you must take to relax guilt-free.

Table of Contents

  • 5 Ways To Ensure You Can Relax Without Shame or Guilt
    • 1) Minimize breaks during the day; focus on one big break in the evening
    • 2) Keep your goals realistic
    • 3) Always do the most important things first
    • 4) Always work to the point of exhaustion
    • 5) Diversify, socialize, and accept
  • Relax Without Shame Or Guilt
  • Actionables

5 Ways To Ensure You Can Relax Without Shame or Guilt

“This is the real secret of life — to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.” – Alan Watts

Our culture is one of consumerism and comfort. Because of this reality, the average person “relaxes” by numbing themselves with various vices such as porn, video games, shopping, and toxic friendships.

The average man relaxes and consumes too much. This overconsumption creates anxiety and guilt. Anxiety because we play more than we work. Guilt because we take more than we need.

However, we are individualists. It is our goal to be different from the chaff. If you can master relaxing, you will laugh deeply, engage fully, and truly enjoy yourself.

Today, I discuss five ways to relax without shame or guilt:

  • 1) Minimize breaks during the day; focus on one big break in the evening
  • 2) Keep your goals realistic
  • 3) Always do the most important things first
  • 4) Always work to the point of exhaustion
  • 5) Diversify, Socialize, And Accept

1) Minimize breaks during the day; focus on one big break in the evening

rest | relax | a woman sleeping

You need to relax. “Going hard” and never resting will ensure you burn out.

People usually take frequent breaks throughout the day: they check their phones, browse the internet, gossip with others, or take walks. While some breaks have more merit than others, those times away from work will compound. This compounding will strip away the productivity of your day.

The solution is simple: minimize breaks through the day, and focus on a more extended “break” at night. This shift in thinking does three things:

  1. It gives you one thing to look forward to. Having only a few little breaks in the day helps you focus on the prize at the work’s end.
  2. If you don’t have to wonder constantly about breaks, you can keep your eyes on the work you’re trying to do.
  3. By the end of the day, you’re already slowing down. Take your breaks when you are closer to sleep, so you can have a fulfilled day behind you.

2) Keep your goals realistic

Nothing creates more shame in the mind than failure. Self-hatred thrives in failure. The more self-hatred we have, the harder it is to enjoy our pleasures. Or the easier it is to pursue pleasures that numb the pain.

Every goal you set needs to take into account your lifestyle and responsibilities. Therefore, you need to set realistic goals. Scale back your expectations, and do not try to do everything simultaneously. Be aware of your duties. If you have a family to care for, a job to work, and health issues, you should not set a goal to have six-pack abs.

Understanding what can be achieved takes practice. The more you set goals and try to accomplish them, the quicker you will learn what is and is not doable.

3) Always do the most important things first

Individuals tend to avoid doing what is hard. Such a mindset will crush your ability to succeed. You will flounder and live in fear if you don’t face complex challenges head-on.

Therefore, always tackle the hard things at the beginning of the day when you are at the peak of your energy and focus.

Additionally, for every strenuous task you overcome, reward yourself. For example, after paying my extortion money to the state, I bought a new video game. Such a carrot-and-stick tactic can give you the motivation you need to overcome a challenge. And once you succeed, you can enjoy the fruits of your labor even more.

4) Always work to the point of exhaustion

We don’t put everything we have into what we’re doing. We usually hold back our emotional investment, physical efforts, and mental prowess when we work. However, such withholding leaves us feeling shame. Why? Because we know we can try harder, and any failure we experience with our tasks is connected to cutting corners and not giving everything we have.

There are many instances where you can push a little harder when you work:

  • If you are cleaning, try setting a timer and focus on cleaning every part of the house you can.
  • When doing work, time yourself. If you hit the timer while in the middle of a task, wrap up the current chore and move on to the next, even if you aren’t done. This forces your mind to focus more deeply when you know you don’t have all day to waste.

When you are tired from your hard work, you will never feel guilt or shame when you relax.

5) Diversify, Socialize, And Accept

play | children playing with bubbles

Your community can keep you entertained if you are willing to participate.

When people seek fun, they usually plop down in front of the TV or play video games. They find a stationary, isolated activity. When you’re isolated in this way, you can develop a little shame or guilt about how you spend your time.

The best way to combat this is three-fold:

  1. Diversify how you relax – Find new and exciting ways to relax, such as visiting a museum, going outside, or seeing a movie in a theatre.
  2. Socialize your fun time – When you relax, involve others. Watch TV with your spouse, go fishing with your kids, or curl with friends.
  3. Accept surprises when they come – If someone invites you to something or an event arrives in your area, go. Enjoy that gift of spontaneous enjoyment.

Relax Without Shame Or Guilt

“How come we play war and not peace?” “Too few role models.” – Bill Watterson

Relaxing is essential. Your body and mind need rest. Sleep is the best way to regain your strength. However, working too hard, too much, and too often will burn you out.

You can enjoy your downtime without shame or guilt. You need to follow the steps I outlined above so you can relax without worry.


  1. Do you feel shame or guilt when you try to relax? Why do you think that is?
  2. Which one of these techniques will you try? What do you think will work best for you?
  3. What does your workload look like? How much is on your plate? Do you feel the need to relax more than usual? Do you think you could reduce the workload that you currently have? How would that benefit you? How would that hurt you?

Please remember that it’s important to do the actionables. You’re not on this earth to simply read but to do. To become an individual, you must act more than you consume.

*Image credit to Unsplash.