Goal: Navigating a World Divided – The Quest for Like-Minded Individualists
In our modern culture, dominated by collectivism, nihilism, and hedonism, finding like-minded people who share a philosophy of individualism can be challenging. We exist in a world of men who suffer in their comfort and demand you pay for it. They have no self-respect, competence, or care for virtue. They are parasites, useless in their thoughts and destructive in their actions.
In a world of addicts, you may struggle to find people who understand your philosophy. You may want to give up, but staying the course is essential. You need community. A community provides safety, communication, resources, and friendship. These are all things that no individualist should oppose and would be foolish to disregard. A virtuous community can make a great life magnanimous.
Today, we explore how to find other individualists. We start by exploring why this is so challenging. Then, we examine the impact of loneliness, the pain of solitude, and why you need community. We continue by exploring the five ways you can find and build your community. Then, we conclude.
Table of Contents
- The Rarity of True Individualism: Understanding Our Social Landscape
- Beyond the Lone Wolf: The Critical Role of Community in Individualism
- Pathways to Your Tribe: Five Strategies for Finding and Fostering Community
- 1) Mirror Your Ideals: Attracting Virtue by Being Virtuous
- 2) Phasing Out Negative Influences
- 3)Breaking the Ice: The Power of Courageous Connections
- 4) The Virtue of Investment: Nurturing Bonds That Matter
- 5) Purity Spiral: Avoid Making Individualism Your Personality
- The Journey Ahead: Embracing Individualism with Community Spirit
- Turning Insight into Action: Next Steps for Building Your Community
The Rarity of True Individualism: Understanding Our Social Landscape
“One can acquire everything in solitude except character.” – Stendhal
We live in a society of addicts, which makes building a virtuous community an uphill battle. For example, our growing national debt shows our inability to balance a budget, set strict rules on monetary spending, or simply have a plan to take care of what is so obviously unsustainable. We can’t survive like this, and no one seems to care.
On the micro level, people are constantly ruining their lives and the lives of others. Many people are overweight, seeking comfort in poorly processed food. Others are in failed relationships, breaking hearts and having their hearts broken. Still, others are addicted to harmful substances that they use to ease the pain of trauma and regret.
And in this environment, the virtuous, productive, and innocent suffer. Children suffer under single moms and deadbeat dads who never bothered to marry and create a stable environment. The productive have to pay for more and more dependents who refuse to work and participate in a society they demand a cut from. And the virtuous are attacked in families, churches, and on social media for pointing out the sins and vices of their fellow man.
Individualism is uncommon because weak individuals will always shirk their responsibility when they have the opportunity. If technology makes ignoring his dreams easier, the weak individual will numb himself. If the government makes degeneracy more “affordable,” he will participate. If social judgment eases against pleasurable dysfunction, a weak individual will partake in what destroys him.
In such a world, you will struggle to find allies.
Beyond the Lone Wolf: The Critical Role of Community in Individualism
“What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.” – Kurt Vonnegut
Despite the emphasis on self-reliance, individualism and community can coexist and flourish together. The individualist is a person who is capable on his own but still needs community. He recognizes a virtuous community brings him the following benefits:
- Firstly, a community provides basic protection. If you have friends, you can better survive the mob. There is safety in numbers.
- Secondly, a community can provide the resources you need to stay alive and thrive, even as the world tears itself apart. Having a friend who is a farmer or a buddy who is a mechanic can save you money or give you the boost you need during hard times. A community serves and is served by the virtuous individuals who comprise it.
- Thirdly, being around others helps you mentally justify your belief system. You know that individualism is correct because you see it play out in the lives of others. If you surround yourself with virtuous individuals, your life and theirs will reinforce that personal responsibility is the best way to make one’s life better.
- Lastly, you need a check and balance on your own vices. Arrogance is easy for any individualist because if you live virtuously, you live better than most people. But when you have other, trusted friends and family around you, they can readily identify your flaws and ensure you don’t inflate your ego beyond a healthy limit.
Pathways to Your Tribe: Five Strategies for Finding and Fostering Community
The below strategies are the ones that I have used to find higher-quality people in my life. Not all are individualists, but they bring me joy, exude virtuous living, and reinforce my desire to become my best self.
1) Mirror Your Ideals: Attracting Virtue by Being Virtuous
Firstly, embody the characteristics and virtues you admire to attract like-minded individuals.
We can envision the perfect friend, spouse, or business partner. We see their honesty, kindness, determination, and loyalty. These positive characteristics are essential for you to develop. Why? Because it always benefits your life to become more virtuous.
Secondly, you can easily convince someone to befriend you when you share their values and act as they act. If you are virtuous, you will attract virtuous individuals because like attracts like.
2) Phasing Out Negative Influences
Avoiding negative influences clears the path for positive, virtuous interactions. Weak individuals have chosen the path of vice and comfort. And they are willing to do everything they can, including manipulating and abusing others, to keep their comforts and vices safe.
Some weak individuals are more extreme than others. For example, I have a wife and a few kids. I can’t develop meaningful friendships with the bachelor who sleeps around. We’re not on the same life path, and he lives a vice-ridden life that won’t end well for him or the women he entangles with.
When you distance yourself from weak individuals, a few benefits arise:
- You save resources – Weak individuals always waste time, energy, and effort. They rarely provide value for value. They are distractions at best and abusive at worst. You will gain more than you lose when you distance yourself from them.
- You will feel better and live more consistently – Weak individuals usually force you to compromise or live a more hedonistic lifestyle. When you phase these people out, you will find you don’t have to consume as much or drown yourself in distractions.
- You will make it easier for virtuous people to find you – Whether consciously or not, weak individuals can prevent you from finding good people in your life. Weak individuals may take you to places virtuous people rarely associate, such as bars or clubs. Or the weak individual is so negative and brooding that they drive good people away from you. Either way, when weak individuals aren’t in your life, life becomes much easier.
Be graceful and merciful to people. However, you must acknowledge that no one has the right to prevent you from being virtuous.
3) Breaking the Ice: The Power of Courageous Connections
Overall, to meet new people, you must talk to them at work, church, the supermarket, and other places. Although forming online communities isn’t bad, I believe talking to others in person forms the best foundation for a relationship.
Talking in person helps you develop your communication style. Some of us are funnier than others. Many prefer to ask more questions than talk, whereas others can talk too much. When we communicate with others in real-time, we gain a deeper knowledge of our flaws. Such knowledge is difficult to gain when you can’t see other people reacting to your joke or hear their voice change when you bring up a subject.
In my experience, just talking to others is as simple as complimenting them, asking about their day, or offering to help them. Your goal is to understand the person so you can build a relationship with them. Never remove what you want from the equation: finding trustworthy people. But seek their happiness as well as your own.
Additionally, if you struggle with approaching people, then work on yourself. Self-confidence is built on the foundation of self-denial. The more you radically regulate yourself, the smoother you become when talking to others. Why? Knowing you control yourself proves you are someone worth knowing and caring about. This reality is innate and only earned through incremental self-improvement.
Lastly, go to places where good, disciplined people will likely congregate: gyms, churches, educational opportunities (such as a cooking class), volunteer opportunities, etc. I would avoid things like protests, bars, and similar locations where politically motivated, drunk people like to attend. Such individuals often speak about politics but not about individual responsibility or virtue.
4) The Virtue of Investment: Nurturing Bonds That Matter
Investing in positive relationship building can significantly impact the quality of your community. But the world lacks good people because society does not invest in them. We demonize business owners and then wonder why only the most ruthless corporate leaders thrive. We attack naivety and innocence, then wonder why children are foul-mouthed and depressed. We attack religion and the good it produces, then wonder why our world is so shallow and lost.
Weak individuals are fools who attack whatever they can. But we have to be better. When you find good people, you must take the time to invest in them by providing them with your resources.
When you meet an honest businessman, give him your business, even if the price is slightly higher. If you meet a decent person, compliment them and give them attention so they feel supported. When you see a child, be kind and respectful to them so they feel cared for.
The only way to find like-minded individuals is to treat good people well. Only when good people are supported will their numbers grow, and you will find more allies and friends.
5) Purity Spiral: Avoid Making Individualism Your Personality
We are individualists. This gives us unique insight into ourselves and the world. Although individualism is not enough for an encompassing worldview, it grants wisdom that our modern, collectivist world cannot grasp.
Because of this, we may feel compelled to talk endlessly about the benefits of individualism. We may also seek to abstain from befriending people who are not individualists or do not understand our passion.
I would caution against this. There is danger in purity spirals, where you try to find only the purest souls who agree with everything you believe. You lose the capacity to have unique voices when you are too strict with your standards. It’s a fine line, but an important one.
For example, when I first understood anarchism and its legitimacy, I was hostile to anyone who supported the state. I harmed my relationships by droning on and on about the evils of government. In due time, I learned not everyone wanted to discuss the state, and that’s okay. Wrapping my identity in opposition to something made me more offputting to friends I could have made.
Therefore, you have to look for virtuous people. Virtuous people will not agree with everything you believe. Look past these disagreements. Virtue is how you build a community that will support you when times are good and hard.
The Journey Ahead: Embracing Individualism with Community Spirit
Individualism is difficult. The reality that you own yourself is not easy to accept.
Finding allies will not be simple in a world of vice and comfort. The journey towards building a community with like-minded individuals is challenging but rewarding. Therefore, start with the advice I’ve outlined above. Take things slowly and reward your moments of bravery. You can only improve with practice. You can only attract good people if you are willing to be uncomfortable to meet and befriend them.
You can do this, and in time, you will have a community of great people at your side.
Turning Insight into Action: Next Steps for Building Your Community
- Consume Works About Charisma – I strongly suggest you work on your charisma by consuming works like Charisma On Command. Resources like these can enhance your communication.
- Current Community – What is your current community like? Are they good people? Do they support your virtuous ends, and do you support theirs?
- Community Building – How have you built your community in the past? How effective were your techniques? Have you enjoyed the community you have built? In what ways have you improved in communicating with others?
- Communal Support – How supportive are you of the people in your life? How can you help or show them that you appreciate them?
- Engage in Self-Reflection: Regularly take time to reflect on your values, goals, and areas where you wish to improve. Consider keeping a journal to document your thoughts and progress.
- Attend Networking and Community Events: Seek out and participate in events, workshops, and community gatherings that align with your interests. Use social media platforms and community boards to find events near you. Expanding your community is important; you find more interesting people at events centered around a purpose.
- Volunteer: Find volunteer opportunities that resonate with your desire to help and connect with others. Volunteering contributes to your community and introduces you to like-minded individuals.
- Get Involved in Local Community Projects: Immerse yourself in local community projects. Such involvement can deepen your connection to your community and introduce you to others who share your commitment.
- Practice Active Listening and Openness: In your conversations, make a conscious effort to listen actively and keep an open mind. Show interest in others’ views and experiences to foster deeper connections. But have standards. Hedonists have very little to teach. Disciplined, virtuous individuals are always the most interesting to listen to.
- Create a Personal Development Plan: Set clear goals for expanding your social circle, including specific actions, deadlines, and success criteria. This plan will guide you in making intentional efforts to meet like-minded individuals.
Please remember it’s important to do the actionables. You’re not on this earth to simply read but to do. To become an individual, you must act more than you consume.
Refer to the linked articles and studies throughout this post for detailed evidence and case studies supporting these views.
*Image credit to Unsplash.